....I sometimes wish I had a big accident, or a disease, or something like that. I sometimes wish I was handicapped. Just so I could prove everyone that I CAN do it, that I CAN be just as good as them.
My mother often tells me I'm BETTER than them, but I sometimes just don't feel so.
Last night I imagined what would my life be if I was deaf...
....it was pretty similar to what my life is like now, actually. Still foreveralone, only without any sound.
...which would be kinda sad, actually, because I easily get lonely and music helps me quite often.
..................those thoughts make no sense at all sometimes I'm funny to myself, but then I figure out I might actually need some professional help and try to wipe them out.
which works only for few minutes or so.
............end of the rant.
I'm still at school, and I DESPARATELY need some strong connection at my home, not this one that first takes centuries to load then just breaks randomly.